Good Grief

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically from the audio and may contain small errors.

Good morning. In order for you to go ahead and get there in your Bibles, we're going to be in 2 Corinthians chapter 7 today. In order for you to go ahead and start getting there in your minds, we're going to be talking about church discipline today. Yay, that's good. I'm glad you're there with me. Okay. How and why to give it, and perhaps more importantly, how and why to

receive it. Now, when I started to think about the idea of discipline while preparing the sermon, I naturally thought back to how my parents disciplined me growing up. Whether right or wrong, effective or not, and I hear debate that. In my house growing up, if you got in trouble, you were likely going to get a spanking. And if you got in big trouble, you were likely going to get a whooping, which is like a spanking basically, but it sounds worse. And sometimes it felt worse.

And attached to this form of discipline, my parents had some typical generic sayings, maybe yours had them as well. If it was something particularly bad, my mom would say to you, to me and my brother, just wait for your father to get home. It was actually okay for my brother and I because what my mom lacked in strength of impact she made up for just being wildly inaccurate. Didn't always land on the padding. That's all I'm saying

My dad He would often give a small speech Before he gave me the spanking and somewhere in this speech Which sometimes dragged on? We get around to this saying and I don't know if you've ever heard this said to you before you got a spanking now son This is going to hurt you as much as it hurts me I I was like, whoa, that's right. And when I heard that, I thought usually one of two things. I didn't say them because that would have been worse. I thought something along the lines of, are you sure? Because maybe your technique's wrong. Or alternatively, I thought something like, well, then I can save us both the pain. I've got to deal for you. I use this illustration today because Paul Express is a very similar sentiment in our passage. And so listen for as we go through it. And I also use this little because I think many people today would be tempted to actually give my two sarcastic responses as real advice when it comes

to church discipline. And we'll circle back to that at the end. But for now let's start by reading 2 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 2 through 16. Paul says, says, Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one. We have corrupted no one. We have taken advantage of no one. I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that you were in our hearts, to die together and to live together. I am acting with great boldness toward you. I have great pride in you. I am filled with comfort. And all our affliction I am overflowing with joy. For even when we came into Macedonia our bodies had no rest but we were afflicted at every turn fighting without and fear within. But God who comforts the downcast comforted us by the coming of Titus not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you as he told us of your longing your mourning your zeal for me so that I

rejoiced still more. For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it. For I see that the letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also with eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment. At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong. But in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.

Therefore we are comforted, and besides our own comfort we rejoice still more at the joy of Titus because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For ever boast I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. And his affection for you is even greater as he remembers the obedience of you all. I received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice because I have complete confidence in you." Now to give you all a bit of context here, because I'm going to assume you might not have read this particular epistle recently or at all, I don't know, no judgment on that. But Paul's picking up in this passage where he left off in chapter 2, verse 13, where he was impatiently waiting for Titus to show up in order to receive a report for him about the Corinthian church. You see there was a division of sorts in the church and we

don't get all the details about it. They're not in there. But the church is actually at odds with Paul and being pulled to follow other leadership. Now say we don't get all the details because there's at least one other letter to the Corinthian church that we don't have preserved. And it seemed that in this letter Paul let the church have it. He gave them a verbal whooping of sorts. if you want to think about it that way. There also seems to have been a painful trip that Paul took before sending that letter. Paul's in a precarious situation. His relationship with the Corinthian church is in a precarious situation. And ultimately, the real issue here is that the salvation of the Corinthian church was at stake because as an apostle of the gospel of Christ, to reject Paul and his message is to reject the gospel. So So Paul wrote them a letter that caused tears in Greek, both for them and for Paul.

And so this morning we're going to break it down pretty simply, how to give church discipline and perhaps discipline in general, and how to receive church discipline. So in the vein of how to give church discipline, I want to think of it in two ways. One, to give it with the right heart, and two, to give it with the right goal. So we'll start with the first one, giving it with the right heart. Look again how Paul starts off this section of the letter, and I'm going to read to you starting in verse two. "'Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one. We have corrupted no one. We have taken advantage of no one. I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that, you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. I am acting with great boldness towards you. I have great pride in you. I am filled with comfort and all our affliction I am overflowing with joy."

The very start, Paul wants the church to know that this discipline didn't change the church's status in his eyes or his heart. And he hopes that it didn't change the church's heart for him either. And look again at verse 8, how hard Paul took having to discipline the church. He says, for even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it, though I did regret it, for I see that the letter grieved you, though only for a while. It hurt Paul to know that his rebuke hurt the church. And it seems to have worried Paul that his grieving of the church may have ultimately damaged his relationship with them. You see, Paul wasn't eager to discipline the church. Paul didn't desire or delight in the act. Thinking again about discipline at home, what parent wakes up or comes home from work just hoping for the chance to spank around their child? Right? That's silly.

I hope your parent doesn't do that. Now it may feel like that sometimes from the perspective of the kid who's always getting disciplined and to be totally honest there are parts of giving a punishment sometimes that helps out in the heat of the moment emotionally for the parent. I think we can all agree to that but ultimately what does a parent delight in? Parent delights ultimately in getting to enjoy the relationship they have with their children. They delight in getting to brag about their kids. Paul says he does about this church frequently. He would much rather do that than discipline them. But discipline is, however, a necessary evil. When I say evil, it's not really probably a good word because we all know it's a parent that loves their child who disciplines their child. But it feels like far too often the people who want to do church discipline are

the ones who shouldn't be doing it in the first place. The ones that are eager to do it probably are the worst candidates to do it. You want to think of it that way. So if you're coming from a place of self-righteousness or a place of pure condemnation, if you're coming from any other position than from the place of a loving family member, if it doesn't cause you some sort of inner grief or turmoil to have to address the matter and you're not addressing it for their good, then you need to first check your motivations before you seek to bring correction to a brother or sister. So that's what I'm talking about when I say you got to give it with the right heart. It comes from a place of love. I'll talk about giving it with the right goal. Paul clearly states what the goal of his discipline was and the outcome that he desired and that he was able to delight

in it when it came about. Find this in verses 9 through 11. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret. Whereas worldly grief produces death. We're going to stop there. You see, the goal was repentance. The goal wasn't for them to feel bad. The goals are for them to come to Paul begging for forgiveness. Those things may have had their place in the process, but Paul is focused on the ultimate goal. The desired outcome of the process, change in thought and in action. Paul is looking for, as he calls it, a godly grief that produces repentance. You see, discipline doesn't exist simply for the sake of discipline. It exists in order to bring about a change. not about looking backwards, focusing on the offense. You see discipline is truly

to be focused about what happens moving forward. Once again consider the example of discipline in the house. When you discipline a child, when you spank them ground them, take away a privilege, whatever you do, the goal isn't simply about fixing that current situation, right? Because you can only do so much to fix that situation. What it's really about is preventing that situation from happening again moving forward. I mean it's great to see and feel a sense of remorse. It's nice when the kid says sorry without you saying, are you sorry? I say yeah I'm sorry. Maybe that's just my house, I don't know. But if they say that and then the same thing happens the next time that situation rises, what good was the sorry? What good is the sense of grief or remorse if it only lasts in that brief little moment? It doesn't lead to any actual change.

You see, the goal of discipline is to get that child or person to think before they do the action next time. And Paul, as their pastoral figure and acting discipline in the Church is of course focused ultimately on the Church's salvation and their spiritual health. We see this in verses 12 through 13. So although I wrote to you it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong nor for the sake of the one who was suffered the wrong but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you and in the sight of God and therefore we are comforted. Paul was less concerned by himself in the matter or even the actual offense that took place. He was more concerned that the church responded rightly to correction and he says it was for their own good, for their own spiritual health because this repentance wasn't for the sake of Paul seeing it, it was the sake of God seeing it.

He wants them to experience the godly grief to be led to repentance and change in order that they can enjoy their salvation without regrets weighing them down. So that's how to give church discipline. Now we're gonna talk about how to receive church discipline. We're gonna change roles here. Let's consider the matter from the other perspective. Okay? I'm lucky for us and for the sake of my outline receiving church discipline is very similar into giving it. Now we basically have the same two points. Receive it with the right heart and the right attitude and receive it with the right goal. So talking about the heart and attitude of receiving discipline. Paul talks about two possible responses here in our passage. A godly grief and a worldly one. One leads to salvation without regret, the other ultimately leads to death. Unfortunately for both you and I, Paul doesn't go on to clearly define these two terms in a thorough

manner. I would really enjoy that, would make this job easier today. But I think that we can consider it this way, okay? Feel convicted, not insulted. In other words, be willing to be reproved and be willing to grow through the process of discipline. Have the right heart. So think about our natural inclinations when someone points out our faults or accuses us of some level of guilt. And I say we, this is me, and maybe it's you too. Luckily I'm not wrong a lot so this doesn't happen. But naturally I would say we seem inclined to get angry, to get defensive, to justify our actions and lessen our degree of guilt. We are often tempted to to shift blame and possibly even counter-attack the person. Well, yeah, I did this, but you did this. That's like worse. I don't know. Once again, maybe that's just me. I think basically we're tempted to say or do anything else besides owning up to our

actions and actually changing. So whatever path you want to take, I think that's the worldly way of handling it. look at how Paul says the church responded. We get this in verse 11. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment. At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. Paul delights because they heard his rebuke and instead of taking severe offense, instead of trying to counter attack Paul and make the relationship even more strained, they acted utterly. They did the different thing.

They changed their hearts, they were receptive to the rebuke, and they went into action. And so that's where we're gonna go with receiving it with the right goal. So notice once again how the goal isn't simply feeling bad or acting remorseful or ashamed, The goal is repentance, which isn't the same thing as sorrow. Repentance is the change in thought or action that results from the conviction of sinful behavior. Repentance is the turning away from the sinful behavior. For the church in Corinth, as it was for Paul, as we read in verse 12, it wasn't about fixing things between the church and Paul. It wasn't about the church feeling bad and restoring themselves and Paul's eyes. It was ultimately about restoring themselves in God's eyes and repairing their relationship with Him. Because ultimately, all sin is sin against God. As such, sin doesn't just damage their immediate earthly relationships, but it does damage

to your relationship with God. So the ultimate goal of discipline is repentance and change of action. restoration of your relationship with God as resulted from your sin. And real quick, I kind of want to circle back now to that a potential advice to give to Paul in the situation. If it hurts you Paul, then are you sure that you're doing it right? And if it hurts you Paul that much, then why do it? You may think I'm kind of being a little silly addressing these kind of questions in the first place. Let's talk at the church level real fast, okay? At the pastoral level. Pragmatists ask these questions and give this advice. To put it into context, as someone training for a pastoral role, I have been cautioned and warned on more than a few occasions to not get too close to people in the congregation. Why? Because it leads to more hurt and pain in the long run.

Conflict will arise in any church and it will be messy. Okay, and it's one thing when your job's at stake, it's a whole other thing when your close friendships are. Losing your job hurts, but losing friends hurts a whole lot more. And if you could get a pastor to talk in a candid moment, they have their stories. They don't share all the details, but they have their stories. And they're usually not good ones. So that advice is given. Keep your distance from people. Don't get too attached, don't get too involved, don't get too close to your congregation. To give another example, why go through the grief of practicing church discipline and risk offending and losing members in your congregation or your job as a pastor? This advice is out there as well. It's a hard task to have to inform a deacon that they can't currently serve their function until they've fixed an issue in

their life. It's hard to tell someone in the choir that they can't sing in the choir while openly living in sin in the manner that they currently are. Or it's just simply asking a person to consider not taking communion at this time without first coming to repentance. As hard as those things are in the church context because of just the weird awkwardness of it, it's all the more hard when those people that you're asking to do that stuff have power and influence in the congregation. You can save yourself the grief. You can save yourself the risk. You can save yourself the damage to your reputation and your job as a pastor if you just let some of this stuff slide. So it's easier not to get too attached, not to get too involved. It's easier not to upset or offend people. And hey, maybe the problem will eventually solve itself anyway. Because these things save you grief. But Paul

wasn't worried about saving himself grief. We're not called to either. One, your pastor's not called to do that. But two, think about it on the lower level of the congregation. Think about it in the context of a small group. In many small groups that I've been in, there's this awesome unspoken agreement to not get too personal, to not get too deep, to not get too connected, don't share too much about our actual lives with each other, because if we did, we may know too much about each other, and we may have to, as brothers and sisters, do something that we would hate to do, hold each other accountable. So just like it works on the whole pastoral level, it works on the smaller levels in the church as well. We are called to do these things. The flip side's a lot easier for us. It's easier to get angry. It's easier to get defensive. It's easier to justify, to shift blame, to counter-attack.

It's easier to do these things than to humbly submit ourselves to correction, to do the hard work of change. It's rather unfortunate because that's what we are called to do as a church, to hold each other accountable, to know each other enough, to call each other out on sin, to be willing to have the hard conversation, to be willing to risk our relationships, to be willing to,

I mean, anything. It's sadly easier to just leave church, to just fire a pastor. Just go to a different congregation where I can be more anonymous. That's not what we're called to do. Not because it's easy, but because it's right. Because it's holy. Because it's what brings us a salvation without regret. It's what helps us grow in Christ and in grace and grow as the body of Christ. And that's why I think that we have this little chapter here and the second epistle to the Corinthians that we hardly ever read. So if you would this morning, pray with me for a second. Dear God, we come to you this morning asking you to help us to be more repentant, asking you to help us to be more willing to be disciplined by one another, Lord. Help us to grow closer to one another, Lord, and help us to establish strong friendships. Help us to be able to say the good stuff that Paul says about the Corinthian Church as

help us to be able to say, I love my brothers and sisters in Christ in this church so much that I'm willing to do the hard thing of church discipline, Lord. Not for my sake, but for their sake, Lord, and ultimately, Lord, for your glory. Use your word today, Lord, to not only convict us, to only make us feel bad or greedy, Lord, but use your word, your letter to us today to help move us to action, help move us to change, Lord. And it is in the name of your Son, Christ, who you sent to die for our sins, Lord, that we have this opportunity to change and to repent and to come to you and to restore our relationship with you, Lord. We ask all these things in His name, on account of what He did on the cross for us. Amen. I'm going to sing one more song. If you need to come and pray or do any business with the Lord up here, the altar is open. If you need to talk to Josh, he's right there. So we'll

just end with one song and let you guys pray and reflect. O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see, There's light for a look at the Savior, Life more abundant and free. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in his wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace. Through death into life everlasting, He passed and we followed Him there, For us in no more half dominion, more than conquerors we are. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace His word shall not fail you, he promised Believe him and all will be well Then go to a world that is died, It's perfect salvation to tell. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of his glory and grace And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace Jesus, thank you for your abundant blessings, Lord. Thank you for saving us and giving us hope for us to pray. Amen.